Irresistible
by newt-scamanderp
Summary: Clarissa Fray has always prided herself on her ability to resist Jace Lightwood's charm. However when an unexpected spark forms at a party and leads to more, will either be able to face what has been said and done? And who will be left unable to resist the other? AU AH. Rated T for now will change later.
1. Chapter 1

**Hey guys! This is my first story published and I'm really excited. Don't know how long it'll take to update right now but you can expect another chapter soon. This story focuses mainly on Clace with hints of Sizzy. Without further ado (I've always wanted to say that), my story.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Cassandra Clare. Cover art by Cassandra Jean.**

* * *

"Why am I here?" I asked myself for the millionth time.

"_Clary_, just do this for me" Simon groaned searching through the crowd for a familiar black head. "You always drag me along to Pandemonium, how is this any different?"

I wanted to tell Simon that it was completely different, but he wouldn't understand. First of all at Pandemonium I never dressed like this. Of course, I had no choice in the matter as Simon basically threatened me to get closer to Isabelle or he would tell Sebastian Verlac how many times I've played D&amp;D with him. Somehow my best friend thought that if Isabelle and I became friends that I could put in a good word for him and they would magically fall in love. What he doesn't realize is that Isabelle and I are complete opposit-

"C'mon Clary don't space out on me again, this is important." Simon said clearly agitated with my tendency to get lost in my own head.

"What is it Simon?" I sighed.

"I asked you if Isabelle said anything about me." He said with a hopeful expression.

I sighed again. Isabelle Lightwood was tall, slender, graceful, and gorgeous. Basically everything I'm not and way out of Simon's league. The only reason we got into this party was because she invited the entire school and also because we sat next to each other in English. It was then that Simon told me to practically be his wingman due to the giant crush he developed for Isabelle over the past few months. She said I could come over early with "that geeky friend" so she could help me get ready. I have to say I was quite surprised seeing as we've only shared about two whole conversations but she probably just didn't want me to embarrass her by association and she couldn't exactly un-invite me. This of course all lead to me dancing with Simon in the Lightwood's enormous house wearing a tight black dress that I'm fairly certain was once a shirt to Isabelle.

"Sorry Si, you didn't really make the conversation while she was training me to become a hooker." I said. While I didn't want Simon to get his hopes up about a heartbreaker like her I also didn't want to crush him completely.

We kept dancing and moving toward the center of the crowd where Simon knew Isabelle would be. I was on the receiving end of many looks from guys that made me want to hide and caused Simon to glare at them due to my tight-fitting dress.

Even though I didn't want to be here, I had to admit that Izzy had outdone herself with the party and it would probably still be buzzing around the school weeks after. It just wasn't exactly my favorite thing to be surrounded by students _outside_ of school when I couldn't wait to ditch them every weekday.

The music pulsed and the crowd moved with it while sweaty bodies of my fellow classmates moved against me. Most of the girls were dressed in things that would give my mother a heart attack if she ever saw me in it. Soon we reached the center of the crowd and I swear my heart stopped for a second.

There, next to Isabelle who was dressed in silver looking like a goddess, was Sebastian Verlac. I swore to myself that sometime soon I would have an actual conversation with Sebastian without stuttering or blushing about a thousand times. I felt my heart clench when he turned and I looked into his dark, warm eyes. Then he directed that sweet, yet seductive smile at just me and I felt like I could have just melted into a puddle right then and there.

Of course just as I was making my way over, Kaelie Whitewillow had to choose that moment to practically hump Sebastian with her dancing, stealing his attention. Huffing in frustration, I turned to leave, leaving Simon who was currently fidgeting nervously while standing behind Isabelle who was oblivious to the crowd of guys surrounding her and swinging her hips carelessly.

Knowing that would most likely be my last chance for interaction with Sebastian tonight, I turned to the table filled with alcoholic beverages fully intending to get drunk off of my ass. I downed at least three full cups of beer knowing that Simon would most likely be preoccupied with trying (and failing) to keep up with Isabelle. The bitter disappointment in my chest as I knew I backed out on my chance to talk to Sebastian tonight led me to gulping down another half a cup. By this time I could feel that pleasant buzz in my head indicating that I was drunk.

Naturally, just as I thought my night couldn't get any worse I felt someone pull the clips holding my hair up letting the red curls fall loose. The same hand slipped dangerously low on my back and just as I could pick up on the strong scent of alcohol in the breath that stirred my hair, a voice like silk slurred at my ear, "Hello, gorgeous".

* * *

**Review? Thanks, any and all feedback is welcome, even criticism!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Thanks to all who followed, favorited, or reviewed! You make my life :)  
**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Cassandra Clare. Cover art by Cassandra Jean.**

* * *

_The same hand slipped dangerously low on my back and just as I could pick up on the strong scent of alcohol in the breath that stirred my hair, a voice like silk slurred at my ear, "Hello, gorgeous"._

* * *

I spin around with wide eyes knowing, even in my drunken state, who that voice belonged to. Green clashes with gold for a moment both in a standstill, unsure of what to say next.

"Whoa. Clary?" He questions, squinting as if he couldn't see clearly.

"Jace." I mumble trying to will this night to be over by sheer force of my mind.

"You look good." He states unabashedly eyeing me up and down. I try not to blush but do anyway.

"You look good too, I guess." I say stupidly. I know it's a lie even as I say it; because he looks better than just good with golden hair that falls into his eyes and curls slightly at the end, and liquid amber eyes that pierce through you. He's tall enough so that I only reach his chest and he's lean with a fine layer of muscle covering his body. But of course, he already knows he's attractive.

I've known Jace Lightwood for most of my life and he has to be the most arrogant, egotistical boy I've ever met. Admittedly, I was a bit bias as he decided to nickname me Carrot from 2nd grade up until 8th grade and seeing as he was so admired by my classmates they took to calling me that too. I'm pretty sure even a teacher called me that once. Other than that whole fiasco though, we never really got along due to his irritating personality and my fiery attitude. The only reason he hit on me before was probably due to his being drunk enough to not recognizing my hair and my tight dress showing off curves even I didn't know I had. But now that we both realized who we were talking to an awkward silence settled over us as we rested against the table side by side.

All I wanted was to go home but surprisingly enough when I looked for Simon in the crowd to tell him so, I saw that he had Isabelle's full attention.

"When did you even get here?" I asked Jace trying break the awkwardness seeing as neither of us were planning to leave.

"I was here this whole time actually." He said, surprising me.

"I would've thought you'd be in the center of the room with everyone else looking for attention" I drawl.

"I don't look for attention, attention looks for me. Ironically enough, the same thing applies to trouble" he states.

I manage to give him a serious look across my shoulder and he says solemnly, "I actually don't care much for those people or the attention".

Somehow this seems so out of character for Jace to be telling me something like this but then I realize both our brains are dulled by the alcohol. Then, shocking me out of my thoughts Jace asks "Do you want to dance?"

I take a second to mull over what he said in my brain and realize he was serious before I recognize that I've been thinking way too much lately. Maybe my thinking is why I can't get anywhere with Sebastian.

"Ah, fuck it." I say as I gulp down another half of a cup of beer.

I hear Jace chuckle and say "Spoken like a true teen", before taking my hand and leading me to the dance floor.

I blame all events that occur after this on our alcohol addled minds.

* * *

**Sorry this chapter was a little shorter than the last, but I plan on making the next one longer! Review? Thanks :)**


	3. Chapter 3

**You guys are great! I love getting feedback on this, I was worried that no one would like this story except for me haha! Also, to all the guests that reviewed: Thanks a lot! I can't reply back but I really appreciate you taking the time to comment. Just a warning, there will be some smut in this chapter but nothing too extreme I hope.**

* * *

_I hear Jace chuckle and say "Spoken like a true teen", before taking my hand and leading me to the dance floor.  
I blame all events that occur after this on our alcohol addled minds._

* * *

It started off innocently enough, as we both kept our distance and were mostly just dancing by ourselves while still being in close proximity. Surprisingly enough, as the night went on more and more people seemed to be joining the crowd instead of leaving. Where were all these people coming from? You'd think that a bigger crowd would mean Jace and I would get separated, but instead we ended up getting pushed closer together. I was too dizzy to care as the crowd flocked closer and I felt my body brush against Jace's. Neither of us seemed to mind as the music pounded through the room creating vibrations on the floor. I was amazed that none of the neighbors had called to complain yet. This time though when Jace's chest brushed against mine we both froze knowing we were getting too close for comfort. However, somehow I was enjoying getting lost in the music forgetting who I was with, seeing as Jace hadn't done anything to anger me yet. When I thought he might leave I realized I didn't want him to and gathered enough courage to purposely brush my back against his chest like I'd seen girls do at Pandemonium. I felt him freeze for a moment before he gently rested his hands on my hips and we started to dance again.

I felt the roar of the music pass over me while closing my eyes and swaying to the rhythm with Jace. I wasn't myself as I felt the bass pound into my skull and the darkness of the room was randomly broken by colorful streaks of light, allowing me to feel hidden. Clary Fray was long gone after moving so fluidly with Jace and not regretting a moment so far. We stayed like this for what felt like minutes, body to body no barrier of air between, when I knew almost an hour had to have passed. Jace moved along to the music with me and when I felt his hands on my body and my whole back pressed against his hard chest it felt like we were the only other people in the room. I felt a fine layer of sweat covering my body but I didn't care as I wrapped hands around the back of his neck while he still stood behind me and moved myself up and down against him once, very slowly. I felt him groan behind and spread his hands on my stomach to pull me closer making me breathless. In the back of my mind I registered that I was doing this with Jace Lightwood, but I couldn't find it in myself to care or to stop.

A few moments passed wrapped up in each other's embrace feeling the music wash over us before breaking the silence. He placed his mouth next to my ear before huskily saying, "Do you want to go up to my room?"

I barely even thought before I replied, "Yeah".

I look through the crowd for a second to realize Simon was no where to be found, before Jace took my hand and we stumbled up to his room. He opened his door and I barely have time to register how neat his room is for a teenage boy before he closes the door and his mouth is on mine causing a small gasp to escape me. His mouth is soft and gentle against my own lips almost innocent as he waits for my reaction and then I realize what I'm doing.

With Jace Lightwood.

If I were in my right state of mind I would have pulled away, however his mouth, his scent, his hands all over make me drunk in an entirely new sense. I feel a nervous energy buzz through my veins before I react and move my lips against his, while he holds me in the circle of his arms. His kissing became more urgent and I felt something coil at the bottom of my belly as he mouth started to roam my neck. I let out a small moan as he mouth a point underneath my and sucked. Suddenly, we moved across the room until he. pushed me onto his bed and started sloppily kissing again.

Things started to escalate quickly because I couldn't remember when he had taken his shirt off and my dress had bunched up around my hips. I could hear the dull thud of music still playing downstairs but lost myself to Jace and his touch. Slowly I felt Jace lift my dress over my head and look at me in awe for a moment before I decided to take of his pants.

He placed hot open kisses on my neck making me grip the curls on the nape of his neck further encouraging him. In a few moments we were both completely bare and in my drunken and lustful state I realized what we were about to do but I didn't want to stop now. I heard a crackle of foil before Jace entered me and I was lost in a blur of ecstasy.

* * *

**Hey guys thanks for reading, I hope this wasn't too bad! If you could review that would make me so happy! Tell me what you think!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey guys thanks again for actually reading this story, you have no idea how happy I get when I see an alert from the story. Also thanks to guest reviewer, Sasa, I can't PM you but your reviews are so sweet. And no this won't be a pregnant!Clary fic because somehow in his drunken haze Jace knew to put on a condom. Remember girls protection is key to avoiding an STD! (I thought that was clever thnx)**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to the wonderful Cassandra Clare. Cover art by Cassandra Jean.**

* * *

_I heard a crackle of foil before Jace entered me and I was lost in a blur of ecstasy._

* * *

When I woke up the next morning it felt like my head was splitting open. I groaned and thought to myself that this must be the worst feeling in the world. That was of course before I got up and saw a distinctly male and shirtless body sleeping next to me.

Oh God. It was Jace. Shit.

For a moment I tried to convince myself that maybe nothing happened until I felt a soreness down there.

I lost my virginity to Jace Lightwood while I was drunk. Shit.

I was wrong before, this must be the worst feeling in the world. I held my breath as I slowly lifted the covers and slipped out of bed, thanking God because for once in my life I woke up early and Jace was still asleep. My nudity confirmed that my worst nightmare really had happened. I had no time to freak out because all I knew was that I had to get out of here, reassuring myself that I could have a panic attack when I got home. I quickly slipped my dress on and grabbed a sweater from Jace's closet so that I wouldn't feel so exposed. I tiptoed across the room and picked up my heels praying that Isabelle and Alec weren't awake yet on a Sunday morning.

As I left the house, I realized that I didn't have a ride home. I put my heels on and walked across their dewy lawn to hail a taxi seeing as my house was far from the Lightwoods'. By the time I got home all I wanted to do was either cry or have a nice long nap. I walked up the stairs and put the key that I always carried around in the lock, thankful to have avoided Madame Dorthea, my neighbor who probably would've made a big fuss about what I looked like and told my mother.

"Hellooo, mom? Is anyone here?" I called out.

I breathed out a sigh of relief when no one answered back but found a note on the table in my mother's handwriting. _Out with Luke. I'll be back at 2. We need to talk_. I groaned, not looking forward to "talking" with my mother. She would probably just yell at me until I gave up on trying to get a word in.

I went to the bathroom to take off my clothes and that was when I realized I forgot my underwear in Jace's room. Shit. What more could go wrong in one day? As I turned on the water and got in the shower I felt everything hit me like a truck.

I had sex for the first time last night. With Jace Lightwood.

It wasn't like I was waiting for marriage or anything, but I had hoped my first time would be with someone I cared about or even liked, not with someone I hate. I felt the water in from the showerhead pelt my skin and drop down like the tears I forced myself I wouldn't shed. Knowing Jace, he would probably brag about finally getting to that stubborn Clary Fray to all his friends or even to whole school. I felt like those whores at school that Jace always used then threw away. Just the thought of that disgusted me but then I realized maybe Jace wouldn't remember what happened. He was drunker than me and he never saw me in the morning. Even if he did remember, I could play it off like it wasn't me. I felt small reassurance thinking these things as I stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around myself.

When I walked out of the bathroom I went to my room and there I started to put on some comfortable pajamas, knowing I wouldn't be going anywhere today. Just as I finished I heard my cell phone ring with Simon's contact on the screen.

"Hello?" I answered.

I heard a breath released on the other end. "Hey Fray, it's Simon, I'm glad you're okay. Sorry I kinda ditched you at the party last night but you'll never guess what happened to me."

With everything that had happened I'd forgotten that Simon had left me at the party, it seemed unlike home to just leave without looking for me. "What?" I replied.

"Isabelle kissed me." He said with a tinge of excitement in his voice. "I mean I don't want to get my hopes up or anything because it might've meant nothing to her. But I left her house feeling like I was in a dream and I totally forgot you until this morning."

"It's okay Simon, and that good for you, really." I said.

"Are you really okay Clary? You can tell me if something is wrong." He said worryingly.

I contemplated telling Simon about what happened with Jace, thinking it would be nice to get it off my chest and who would be more understanding than Simon? But that would make things more complicated and at this point I just wanted to forget what had happened. "Nothing's wrong, I'm just a little tired." I said feeling a bit guilty for lying.

"Oh, okay well I have to go now, bye. I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Bye."

I laid down in bed thinking a nap would be nice to forget what had happened for a while.

* * *

**I think I might start to space out the updates but only because I have to work on stuff for school and I might not have that much time to write. I know I'm a terrible procrastinator. I'm still probably going to update like every two days haha. Review?**


	5. Chapter 5

**Kind of a filler chapter again. Sorry :(**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to the lovely Cassandra Clare. Cover art by Cassandra Jean.**

* * *

_I laid down in bed thinking a nap would be nice to forget what had happened for a while._

* * *

As expected, when my mother came home she was beyond pissed. If it were another situation, it would almost be funny how flustered she became with red-tinted cheeks that were normally pale and wild gestures with her long artist hands. Of course her yelling at me was not as funny.

"For all I know you could've been murdered! You didn't even leave a phone call!" She shrieks.

"Mom, I was fine, seriously." I said.

"Clarissa Adele, you are not getting off this easily!" She says.

I know it's serious when she pulls out the full first name and middle name. It went on like this for a good fifteen minutes until I managed to convince her that I slept over at Simon's and I was just too tired to call. I hated lying to my mother like this but I couldn't exactly tell her the truth. I know she meant well and it just showed she cared, but my mother could be a bit overprotective.

I headed to my room to start working on some last minute assignments for school tomorrow. It took longer than I thought because when I looked at the time it was already 5:00. It was still too early to go to sleep so I pulled out my sketchbook and started drawing the New York skyline. I brushed my teeth and got into bed early having nothing better to do.

I lay there staring at the ceiling wondering what awaits for me tomorrow at school. Maybe I can call out sick? Or just skip with Simon? But I decided to do neither of these things. If there's one thing that I am, it's stubborn and I wouldn't let anyone humiliate me enough into not going to school, especially not Jace Lightwood.

* * *

As I woke up the next morning at 6:00, I felt the courage I gathered last night disappear. What would I do if he told anyone? Or even if he remembered?

However before I could pretend I was lying on my deathbed, my mother came into my room and told me to get ready.

After showering and getting dressed, I ate my breakfast and saw Simon already at the door waiting to walk me to school.

"Hello, Simon." My mother greets.

"Hello Ms. Fray, and may I say you look absolutely lovely this morning." He replied.

I shook my head at my best friend's antics. "Let's go, Simon." I said.

I didn't live that far from the school so it only took about ten minutes to get there. I made my way to my locker waiting for everyone in the hallway to start laughing at me, but to my relief it seemed like no one really cared what I was doing. Thankfully, I didn't have any classes with Jace today so I wouldn't have to see him until tomorrow and by then I hoped he wouldn't care.

I made my way through most of my classes with ease and finally made my way to art, the second to last class of the day.

There sitting at my table, was Sebastian. We usually sat together as there weren't many other juniors in our class. I thanked God for that alone everyday. Sebastian had short dark hair and brown eyes making him completely handsome, yet he wasn't conceited or a player in any way. He, like me, had an appreciation for art making me enjoy having him in my class because I knew he didn't join this class just to slack off but because he actually enjoyed it. Also, he grew up in France with his family for most of his life just moving here freshman year, giving him the cutest accent. He complimented my work all the time even when I knew it was my best. Basically, he was perfect.

I didn't really talk to him throughout class just working on the drawing assignment the teacher gave us. Sebastian's presence was a bit comforting though and I actually forgot about the whole dilemma with Jace for the whole period. The bell signaled the end of class and knowing I only had to get through one more period was a huge relief.

As I was walking out the door I heard someone call my name.

I turned to see Sebastian headed towards me.

"Hey, mind if I walk you to your next class?" He asked.

"Yeah, sure." I said smiling.

"I saw you at Izzy's party the other day. You didn't really look like you, but still great." He said making me blush.

"Yeah, well I didn't get much say in what I wore. She kinda forced-"

"Clary." I heard someone interrupt me.

I turned around to see the one face I'd been avoiding all day.

* * *

**Thanks for reading! Btw, the school schedule is a rotating one so there are 8 classes on their schedule but 6 periods in one day. So today Clary didn't have a class with Jace but tomorrow she will. If that makes any sense. Review?**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to the lovely Cassandra Clare. Cover art by Cassandra Jean.**

* * *

_"Clary." I heard someone interrupt me._

_I turned around to see the one face I'd been avoiding all day._

* * *

I felt the smile I previously had while talking to Sebastian slip.

It was Jace. Shit.

"Can we talk for a moment? In private." He said.

I was silent for a minute until replying, "Well, I was in the middle of a conversation with Sebastian. And I'm sure whatever you have to say, you can say in front of everyone else."

He shrugs. "Ok. But you should know, I don't exactly have a filter."

I look around the hallway that's bustling with students trying to get to their next class. A good number had already paused and were watching us to see if something exciting would ensue. _Ugh, nosy. _I thought to myself.

"Fine." I huffed.

Jace started walking past the students in the hallway without looking back to see whether I was following or not. Finally the number of students started to thin, and that was when Jace opened a closet door and pulled me inside.

We stood there for a good five minutes; him staring at me intently, while I took a sudden interest in my shoes.

Finally after what seems like years, he blurts out "You left your underwear."

"What!" I say not at all expecting him to say that.

"Shit, it wasn't supposed to come out like that. I-I mean it is true, but I was going to say something else." He says rubbing the back of his neck.

Was Jace Lightwood _blushing_?

He clears his throat. "Listen Clary, about that night-"

"What night? I don't remember anything about a night. Especially not one involving you." _Slick, Clary. Real smooth. _I mentally berate myself.

He gives me a pointed look.

"Okay fine, maybe I do slightly remember. But I already know what you're going to say and I completely agree. We should just forget about what happened." Even as I say it, I feel a small pang in my chest.

Jace takes a step closer to me. His scent of lemon and sunshine wash over me and the memories of that night come back to me. I was so worried about what was going to happen, I hadn't thought about what did happen. I think of his warm hands on my body, his mouth everywhere. Just the thought of it makes me blush.

"That's not what I was going to say at all." He says taking another step closer.

My head snaps up to meet his eyes, but before I can say another word, I feel his strong arms envelop me and his warm lips pressing against mine.

I lose myself in his feel of his warmth and his scent. Time seems to stands still as he moves his mouth against mine and even as I feel our bodies pressed together it doesn't feel close enough. It's as his tongue swipes against my lips asking for entrance that I finally pull away.

We stare at each other for a moment in the dim light both struggling to catch our breath. I break his gaze and let out a sigh. _What was happening to me? _I thought. If someone were to tell me a week ago that I would be kissing Jace Lightwood in a janitor's closet, fully sober and _enjoying _it I would laugh myself hoarse at the idea. I knew this couldn't go on for any longer though. Jace, being Jace, would probably tire of me soon and move on. Anyway, it wasn't like I had any real romantic emotions towards him. Not like I did Sebastian. Somehow thinking of Sebastian while being in this situation with Jace made me feel guilty.

"Jace", I started, "I don't really like you that way." It was true. I practically knew nothing about Jace other than in purely physical matters. He aloof and a bit mysterious. I knew that he had a lot of experience with girls and that cared for none of them. The only friends he had were his adoptive siblings, Alec and Isabelle. Really, I've never met a person who hid so much about himself. How could I like Jace when I didn't even know him?

"Oh, how you wound me" Jace states sarcastically, looking a bit irritated. I was surprised by how easily he brushed off my comment. "Clary, I'm pretty sure I've never had a relationship before where I actually felt something for the girl. Relationships for me are purely physical. And you can still pine after Verlac if you wish."

I sucked in a breath. "How did you-" I start.

"It's obvious to anyone with eyes." He says. Then he turns to me serious again. "Don't you feel this connection between us?"

I shrugged, but truth was I did. I felt a spark when he touched me and when he kissed me it was like my whole body lit up in flames. dI knew that feeling was rare.

I looked into his golden eyes. "So what are you suggesting?" I asked, knowing I was digging myself deeper into this mess with him.

"I say we keep doing this. No strings attached." He says evenly.

This was it. I either turn Jace away now and forget what ever happened between us; or I take the risk and let myself go to whatever physical pull I have to Jace without having to be in an actual relationship. Truthfully, feelings scared me. The thought of falling in love was too big and it's easier to get lost in the feel of a person when you don't have to worry if they like you or not.

"Okay", I whispered, even though every fiber of my being was telling me that this is a big mistake.

That was when I stood on my tiptoes and wrapped my arms around his neck, pressing our mouths together. I knew there was no going back now.

It flames were liking up my insides and making my stomach coil as Jace moved his mouth fervently against mine and pushed me against the wall. I felt his hands grip the back of my thighs making me shiver. He hoisted me up and I wrapped my legs around him making him moan hotly against my mouth. Then, without warning, I felt his hands move underneath my skirt and slip my underwear down my legs.

His golden orbs looked into mine for a moment silently asking for permission and before I could actually think about it I nodded. We started moving together slowly until I was begging for more. I felt myself engulfed in the scent of Jace and the feel of him inside me.


	7. Chapter 7

**I AM TRASH. THIS TOOK FOREVER SORRY. School started which makes life a struggle for me and I basically have to focus on school all the time but I also hope to update soon! Whoo, okay um you guys are great? I feel like I need to clarify: Jace and Clary are not in a real relationship. Yeah, it kinda sucks but if they got together already my story would be finished and also remember that they don't really know much about each other.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to Cassandra Clare. Cover art by Cassandra Jean.**

* * *

_I felt myself engulfed in the scent of Jace and the feel of him inside me._

* * *

I walked out of the closet in a daze. I couldn't barely believe what I had just agreed to, let alone what I had done. I looked at the time and realized that the last period was already over. As if sensing my thoughts, the bell rang and students rushed into the hallway desperate to go home. I found Simon walking towards the door and forgot that I had my last class with him.

Again, I briefly considered telling my best friend what was going on but somehow the thought of what he would say made me want to keep him in the dark. What would Simon think of me?

"Hey" I said, tapping Simon on the shoulder.

He turned around. "Hey, Clary. I was worried about you. Where were you last period?"

"Oh, um, I was just at the nurse's office. I had a headache."

He looked suspicious, but let it go. I searched the hallway for a second to see if I could find Jace, but wasn't surprised that he was long gone.

"Hey, so Eric is going through some weird phase of liking poetry and he's forcing me to come watch him at Java Jones. It might be more bearable if you come along." Simon says while pushing out his lower lip.

"Fine", I say not being able to refuse Simon, "But why didn't you ask Isabelle? It could be like a date." I push open the doors as we start walking out towards Java Jones.

He raises one eyebrow at me. I've always wanted to do that. "Yes, because bringing Isabelle along to one hour of torture is a sure way to win her affections."

"Oh, but it's okay to make _me _endure the torture?" I ask.

"Eh, you're kinda stuck with me." He says and I can't help the smile that creeps onto my face.

Things with Simon always feel so casual, so natural. I think of Jace who seems to have the opposite effect on me. I feel so on edge around him, as if anything I do or say around him is wrong. I was scared to make one wrong move and he would lose interest. Because for some reason he found me interesting. Since when did I care what someone like _Jace _thought of me anyway?

We walk into Java Jones and again I wonder what I'm doing with Jace. I'm not the type of girl to have a meaningless fling yet this was exactly what I was doing. I couldn't help my physical attraction to someone like him and God knows why he was attracted to me.

I smell the familiar crisp scent of coffee that Java Jones always has.

"Why is that when its fall they make all these pumpkin flavors? Why should the deliciousness of pumpkin be confined to one season!" Simon says angrily.

"Ookay. Well you can finish contemplating the meaning behind that while getting me a coffee and I find some seats." I say.

He chuckles. "Anything you say Master Fray."

* * *

"_Come my faux juggernaut, my nefarious loins! Slather every protuberance with arid zeal!"_

"Oh my God. I cannot believe my ears are actually hearing this." I say with my mouth hanging open slightly.

"If anyone asks, I do not know him." Simon says.

I looked around the room to see most people looking interested in Eric's terrible poetry. "I just can't believe people actually think this crap is poetry."

"_Turgid is my torment!" _Eric wailed into the microphone on stage_. "Agony swells within!"_

I slid down in the seat hiding my into Simon's soldier to stifle my laughter.

"Not funny Fray. This is seriously embarrassing for anyone associated with him."

"Okay, okay. I think we've had enough of this." When I look up ready to leave, I meet a pair of golden eyes.

* * *

**Yayy Thanks a bunch if you're reading this story and please make any suggestions to the story or just tell me what you think! Review?**


	8. Chapter 8

**Y'all are really awesome :) Thanks for reviewing, favoriting, and following! PSA: I changed the story so that Jace wasn't Clary's first kiss because that seems kinda weird now that I'm thinking about it. Ya. Also if you look at the word should for long enough it'll look really weird which makes me uncomfortable.**

* * *

"_Okay, okay. I think we've had enough of this." When I look up ready to leave, I meet a pair of golden eyes._

* * *

I can't say I've had much experience with relationships.

There was that time two years ago when Simon and I tried to date. It felt too much like kissing a sibling and I broke it off with him. That was when we didn't speak to each other for two months and I felt really bad until he came to me and said he just wanted to be friends again. It was only a few months after that when he told me he had a slight crush on Isabelle Lightwood. There was also Jordan Kyle. Tall, tan, with brown hair and light green eyes he was really something to look at. But that's basically all I liked about him. He could be too aggressive sometimes and he never really appreciated my interest in art. We eventually just separated and he got back together with his ex-girlfriend Maia.

Jace was something different altogether. What was happening with Jace was hard to explain but I know that I didn't want another Jordan Kyle. If we got into the actual relationship stuff we would most likely find that we didn't actually like each other.

That's why I wanted a real relationship with Sebastian. He was good looking and had a personality that was hard to find, he was just one of those genuinely likable people (unlike a certain someone). While people adored and idolized Jace, Sebastian was the type of guy that people knew and were friends with. Not to mention that adorably cute accent.

There were things on my mind other than my love life as well. I had to focus on school and while I wasn't top in our grade, I still did like to get good grades and also appease my mother. I wanted to focus more on my artwork so that maybe I could get a scholarship to a good college. My mother also had a lot going on. She was getting more clients and had to spend more time working. Sadly enough, she was still 'friends' with Luke and seem to ignore any feelings they had for each other saying she was "too busy with me to start a relationship" whenever I brought it up. That woman can make up more excuses than any teenager I know.

My two short relationships certainly hadn't prepared me for this. I didn't know if making eye contact with Jace meant that I should say hi. I didn't know if we should act like we knew each other because Jace sure as hell wasn't sending any signals. As it turns out, I didn't even have to make a choice because Jace turned and put his arm around a pretty asian girl in our grade, Aline. From there I could pretty much assume that she was his date.

Even though I knew I shouldn't feel it, I couldn't help the pang of disappointment in my chest. He's seriously going on a date with another girl on the same day we just had sex? I don't expect him to never talk to any other girls, and I don't want him to actually like me but I thought he would have the decency to take a girl out a few days or even weeks later. The one comforting thought I had was that at least I still had Sebastian. Of course, that's assuming that he had any interest in me at all. I mean, even Simon had Isabelle! A feeling of loneliness washed over me and I was reminded of why I even started this with Jace.

I was broken out of my reverie as I saw Simon begin to get up.

"Thank God this is over. Let's get the hell out of here." He said stretching his arms over his head.

I take one last glance at Jace who was too busy laughing at something with Aline to even look in my direction. I felt like some pathetic girl vying for his attention and immediately told myself to stop overthinking this. Of course, just the opposite of this happened.

* * *

Once Simon drove me home I went to my room where I was left alone to think about everything that had happened today and the day before. I decided the only way to organize my thoughts was to write them down. I usually drew to express my feelings but instead I tore a sheet of paper from my drawing pad and sat down on my bed with a pen.

In my loopy cursive I wrote:

_Reasons Why I __Should_ _Keep Having Sex With Jace Lightwood:_

_1\. On a hotness scale of 1 to 10 he's around 82._

_2\. He's a great lay from what I remember so far._

_3\. He's not a douchebag all the time._

_4\. A teenage girl has certain needs._

_5\. I don't need to get involved emotionally._

Sadly enough, it took me a good five minutes to get past the first two. I like to keep it simple so I decided to stop the list there but on the back I wrote:

_Reasons Why I __Should Not_ _Keep Having Sex With Jace Lightwood:_

_1\. Sebastian Verlac._

_2\. I hate lying to my friends and family._

_3\. He still is a douchebag most of the time._

_4\. Sleeping with him makes me feel kind of slutty._

_5\. I barely know anything about him._

These were the things that lingered in the back of my mind but I avoided. Things were moving very quickly with Jace and dId knew I would have to see him tomorrow in English class. I felt a bit of dread because I didn't know what I would say to to him but underneath that I felt excitement. Yes, I said it, excitement. Jace was a mystery and exciting and he took an interest in me. Usually I only felt that excitement when I spoke to Sebastian. But things were new and unfamiliar, I wanted to figure Jace Lightwood out once and for all and I knew I would cross number five off of my list.

* * *

**Yayy! This story is finally moving along lol. This one is a little longer than the last chapter and I'm actually pretty proud of it. Plus, y'all probably don't care but if I ever use a last name other than Lightwood for Jace please tell me because I almost did that here and had to correct it. Hate it? Love it? Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**What? An update? This has been too long and I really suck :( but you guys are wonderful! beautiful! amazing! We got past 100 reviews! Also I combined two really short chapters so technically this is chapter nine.**

* * *

_These were the things that lingered in the back of my mind but I avoided. Things were moving very quickly with Jace and I knew I would have to see him tomorrow in English class. I felt a bit of dread because I didn't know what I would say to to him but underneath that I felt excitement. Yes, I said it, excitement. Jace was a mystery and exciting and he took an interest in me. Usually I only felt that excitement when I spoke to Sebastian. But things were new and unfamiliar, I wanted to figure Jace Lightwood out once and for all and I knew I would cross number five off of my list._

* * *

I hear the irritating ringing of my alarm clock going off, much too early for my taste and I sigh knowing I'll have to get up soon before my mother comes barging into my room. I sit up and see some sunlight filtering through my sheer curtains and making my orange walls look lighter. I rub at my eyelids, not wanting to actually get up but forcing myself to.

I walk into the bathroom and take one look at myself in the mirror before widening my eyes at how frizzy my red hair looks. I quickly take a shower before dressing casually and heading downstairs for breakfast.

I grab a piece of toast and I see mother standing in paint-splattered overalls, her hair in a messy bun and wonder how she could be so effortlessly beautiful. People often told me how much I resemble her, but other than the curled red hair and emerald eyes, I couldn't see many similarities.

"Clary", my mother calls looking at me, "I won't be home until late tonight because I'll going to an art gallery. I would offer for you to come but its a long drive and you have school tomorrow."

"It's okay, mom. I'll probably just stay home and finish some homework." I say giving her a tight smile.

"Alright, sweetheart. I feel bad for not spending anytime with you lately, but we'll definitely have time this weekend to go out. Oh! And Simon called and said he's sick so he won't be walking with you to school."

"Aw, well I better get going. See you mom, love you." I say while hugging her.

"Love you too. Have fun at school, don't do anything illegal!" She shouts as I'm walking out of room.

I chuckle lightly and reply "Well there goes my plans for the day."

The cold air hits me as I'm walking out of our building, only making me want to head back inside and curl up in my bed. The view is breathtaking though. The trees stand in two rows on either side of the road making me itch for my new pencils to draw the looming branches in hues of gold, red, and orange.

After about 10 minutes of walking on the cracked pavement, I finally reached my school bustling with students. I head to my first class, history, not really caring about what was going on. The next few classes pass by in a blur and without Simon I only had a few friends to talk to.

Finally I make my way to art class and feel that familiar stirring in my stomach as I approach my table with Sebastian already sitting there. My heart clenches slightly as he turns his head and grins at me showing a perfect row of teeth.

"Hello, little one." Sebastian says playfully.

I feel a small spark of anger in me at that. If there was one thing I hated it was comments on my size. I wanted Sebastian to see me as his equal, not like a little sister. I push my anger back down though as I take my seat, his presence having a soothing effect on me.

"Hey, Sebastian." I say casually, "Did you finish that assignment on linear perspective?" I mentally curse myself for bringing up homework, of course, as our discussion topic.

"Oh, not yet actually, but I did start it," he says. "Do you want to take a look and tell me what you think?"

"Sure!" I say enthusiastically. I feel a bit of embarrassment at my enthusiasm but I take pride in knowing that Sebastian actually cares about what I think.

He turns to pull the paper from his bag giving me a good look at his back lined with muscles. _What I wouldn't do to just reach out a hand and-_

My thoughts are cut short when he turns back around and I mentally chastise myself for being such a creep. Well, I really couldn't blame myself for admiring something so beautiful, I am an artist after all. I take the paper from his hands, trying to ignore the little tingle I felt when I brushed his hands. I study his drawing and honestly, it's quite good. It wasn't the finished product but seeing the effort he puts into his work only reminded me why I felt some connection to him.

"What do you think?" He says looking at me hopefully.

"This is really great, Sebastian." I say smiling and looking at him.

I look into his dark eyes, getting lost for a moment and he opens his mouth to say something else, but of course the teacher chooses that moment to speak up. He turns to face the front and I can't help but feel frustration about how small our progress is. I was quickly tiring of all these interruptions and the nerves that kept me from saying what I wanted to. But I knew his rejection would lay too heavy in my heart if I took that next step forward. And rejection was inevitable, because Sebastian would never feel the same. I shake my head, angry for sounding so pathetic over a boy who I've barely shared one conversation with.

I slug through the rest of the day, ready to just go home and repeat the routine I follow everyday.

Of course, why would I ever expect that to happen?

* * *

I make my way to my last class, hoping it will end faster by sheer force of mind. I almost forget that Jace is in this period when Isabelle takes her assigned seat next to me. Jace soon follows and of course, he doesn't even spare me a glance. Not that I'm surprised. Not that I wanted him to even acknowledge my presence.

The final bell rings and I pack up my stuff before realizing everyone has quickly filed out of class already. There are a few other people left and as fate would have it, him.

I hurriedly slip my bag over my shoulder not wanting to give him the satisfaction of waiting for him. But before I can fully leave the room, warm calloused fingers slip a piece of paper in my hand and just as I turn around, the familiar scent is gone and that tall gold head is nowhere to be seen.

I wait until I'm out the school and on my way home to open up the folded piece of notebook paper. Inside in scribbled handwriting was a statement, not a question.

_My place. 9:00._

* * *

A rhythm is set. Not careful, not slow.

One heartbeat. Two, three, four.

A hot breath on my face brings me back to where I am. I'm suddenly aware of the sweat on both our bodies and the noises we both emit. The feel of him pushing inside and me reaching my end. I quickly look into the eyes staring, boring into me, and look away just as fast, scared by the intensity I see within the dark flecks. It's all over too soon.

I feel Jace heavily hit the mattress next to me and see a grin that of course, only good sex could bring onto his face. The same feeling of lightness is inside of me and for a minute I wonder if this is real or if I'm dreaming. When did this start? How could he want me? I look over again at his golden locks matted down with sweat, a chiseled chest and arms, and that breathtaking face that looks so different, lighter.

I quickly become aware of my own fragile body and slip my clothes on ready to leave.

"You don't have to go yet, you know," a soft voice says behind me. I'm startled for a second by both his words and his tone.

"You don't have to pretend we're friends, Jace. Looked fine not talking to me at all in public. Why pretend?" I say, surprised at my own hostility. I expect him to agree, to push me out of his bed, his strangely neat room. But he doesn't.

"I'm not pretending," he says with a laugh in his voice, "we could be friends if you want. I just always assumed you hated me." I say nothing.

"Where is everyone else in your family anyways?" I ask, quickly changing the subject.

He just shrugs. "Isabelle is who knows where. My older brother, Alec, is at university. Maryse, Robert, and the youngest, Max, are on vacation in Europe for another two months."

"So it's just you and Isabelle?" I ask, feeling a bit jealous of how big his family was, even though they weren't biologically related and half of them were missing. I've always wanted siblings, but Simon was the closest thing I had to a brother.

"Not really, Alec comes over every weekend since he's pretty close."

"Cool." I say and the conversation lulls. "Well, I guess I'll be seeing you soon Jace."

"See ya, friend." When I look over he has a mocking grin on his face, but I know his words were serious.

I walk out of his room quietly, not knowing why I feel like I have to tiptoe out of there or something. I take the train home to avoid walking and feel something in my chest, almost like a laugh bubbling up. I touch a hand to my mouth, sure that I look like a maniac, and feel my lips stretched into a grin. Jace Lightwood had just become my friend.

* * *

**Please review! I love hearing what you guys think :)))**


	10. Chapter 10

**I seriously suck with updates! BUT I want you guys to know that your reviews encourage me so much it means a lot :) I have definitely NOT given up on this story and I have a general idea of what will happen it's just hard to put it into words sometimes. lol i'm so sorry this update took so long I don't deserve y'all. I've been trying to edit my stuff more so I don't absolutely hate how it sounds but it takes a while! Hope you like it.**

**Happy holidays to anyone that celebrates! Also, everyone should watch the new Mortal Instruments show that is coming out on January 12! I'm giving it a chance and I hope it gets enough viewers.**

**Disclaimer: All characters belong to the lovely Cassandra Clare. Cover art by Cassandra Jean.**

* * *

_I walk out of his room quietly, not knowing why I feel like I have to tiptoe out of there or something. I take the train home to avoid walking and feel something in my chest, almost like a laugh bubbling up. I touch a hand to my mouth, sure that I look like a maniac, and feel my lips stretched into a grin. Jace Lightwood had just become my friend._

* * *

It took me the next day to realize it. Friends. _With benefits. _Oh my god, I had become a cliche.

And the worst type possible. Not only was I a cliche, I was now a hypocrite as well. Where was the Clary that I knew? The Clary that laughed at and even pitied girls who threw themselves at Jace. I always knew that I wasn't _that kind of girl,_ but really who was that kind of person? What sane, confident girl involved themselves with someone who would only use them for their own pleasure? _Me_, I think to myself bitterly.

With those depressing thoughts, I prepare for the day, sluggishly moving through the morning routine I had perfected. Except when I got downstairs there was no breakfast waiting for me and my mom was nowhere to be seen.

I moved through the eerily silent house until I reached the narrow hallway leading to the bathroom. There I heard just one muffled voice, my mother's, and she sounded distressed. I stopped right before the hallway, pressing my back against the wall so I wouldn't be seen and tried to use eavesdropping skills. She must have been on the phone, but I really didn't know who she was talking to. I strained to hear her voice and that's when I could hear snippets of the conversation.

"You've never been there for her! Why do you care now?"

"I will not let you anywhere near Clary. Do you understand? You don't belong in her life and as far as she knows her father is dead."

I felt a shock run through me. _Father. _My mom is talking to someone about my dad. But it sounded like she was talking _to _him. I had to stifle gasp by pressing my hand against my mouth. Of course I knew it was impossible. There was no way my mom is talking to my _dead father _ right now.

I knew the story of his life well. His name was Jonathan Clark and he had been a decorated soldier serving overseas. A picture of Jonathan on top of our mantel was really all I knew of his face because he had died in a car crash before I was born. I remember constantly asking questions to my mother about him when I was younger and how she would constantly push them aside. I thought it was because she was heartbroken, but now? I'm sure she had another reason to avoid any talk about him.

I put my face in my hands and loudly sigh. What was going on?

* * *

By the time I made it to school that morning, my mind was so jumbled I had barely even remembered Jace.

That is, until we literally knocked right into each other in the hallway.

I let out a string of apologies under my breath as I held my books to my chest to keep them from dropping to the floor. My face quickly heated with a blush as strong hands gripped my waist to keep me from falling and lingered for a bit too long. I let out a small squeak as the calloused fingers wandered under my shirt and rested on my bare hips for what felt like .2 seconds before moving away. Yes, I am not proud to say that I actually squeaked. What happened to being cool and collected? I looked up into tawny eyes and a face hovering well above mine with the famous Jace Lightwood smirk.

"Maybe you should be a little more careful when walking down the hallway. Never know who you could bump into," he says with a smile that looks like we're sharing a secret. "You okay?"

"Yeah, fine." I respond hurriedly, my mother's conversation from this morning still rattling in my head.

A crease suddenly appears between his eyebrows, his body still hovering over my much smaller frame. "No, really. Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I've just got to get to class. See you tonight? At your place?" I ask suddenly, feeling slightly courageous for taking the initiative.

"Sure." He says, the crease still there between his brows but lessened.

I hurry along the hallway away from him, looking back almost for a minute thinking that he would still be there watching me. But, of course, he was long gone.

* * *

As a girl who has currently only had one sexual partner in her lifetime, you'd think I would be lost and uncertain all the time. But really, it feels like more of a natural process. The easy rhythm between two bodies is fairly simple to get down once it starts. Not to say that there aren't surprises and excitement when I'm having sex with Jace. I feel a thrilling high unlike any other when I climax and the words stumbling from my mouth are either profanities or God's name. Or sometimes both. People who say that intercourse is all about the spiritual connection between two people probably weren't having good enough sex. I am not very experienced, but Jace is and he always seems to be enjoying himself, alright.

Tonight is like a dance. We move roughly around the space of his bedroom, making as much noise as we want because he has already whispered in my ear with hot, bated breath "we have the house to ourselves". I should worry why Jace spends this much time alone, but then he picks me up gripping the backs of my thighs firmly before pressing his warm, soft lips against the underside of my jaw and by the time that I catch my breath, I've already melted into a puddle of thoughtlessness.

When the dance is finally over and all that's left is our slowing breaths I lay my head back and close my eyes for a few moments. I try to conjure up the feelings that I should experience after having sex with someone I'm not in a real relationship with- regret, shame, guilt. But all I can feel is relief. Relief at being pleasured. Relief for pleasuring someone else. Relief that I can't think anymore and at the moment, all that's left inside of me are feelings of euphoria. Now, I understand why Jace does this so much and with so many different girls. I wonder when he will get tired of me and start to bore at my small, barely curvy body. I don't know what I will do when that day comes.

"So, are you going to tell me now what was wrong this morning?" Jace asks with a knowing tone.

"What?" I respond, still slightly out of breath. But, hey, I'm an artist, not an athlete.

"This morning. You looked like someone had just told you that a duck ate your mother."

"What?!" I reply, actually startled.

"Stop ignoring the question."

"I don't even remember what the question was! What does that even mean?"

"I have a thing with ducks. Not good. You're still avoiding."

"Fine," I reply, exasperated. "You want to know what happened! I've known my entire life that my father is dead, but this morning I hear my mom talking to someone on the phone saying that 'as far as Clary knows, her father is dead'. So I'm not really sure what I know anymore!"

Jace is silent for a long time. Then he slowly lets out a breath. "Yep, that pretty bad."

And I can't help it. I let a laugh. Once it starts, I can't stop. I laugh at the complete insanity of the situation. Here I am, practically naked with Jace, talking about my family problems- which I haven't even told Simon about yet!- as if it were just a normal Wednesday. I laugh until I'm sure Jace thinks I'm certifiable because he just stares at me. But I don't care. I laugh and I guffaw and it feels like I haven't done this in ages.

"You're probably the strangest person I've ever met." Jace says once my cackling session is finally over.

"Me? Who has a thing with ducks? And whose room is always this neat?" I ask, looking around the dimly lit bare walls.

"I happen to like neat things." He responds, a bit affronted.

"What else do you like?" I ask, unable to help myself.

"Not ducks."

"Seriously."

"Why're you so interested?"

"Fine." I huff annoyed that he could remain so closed off.

I turn to get my things and leave when I see the clock beside Jace's bed. 12:15. It was midnight and my mother was waiting for me at home. I look at my phone, the same time staring back at my face along with the message that I had 21 missed calls from my mother and 2 from Simon. I was screwed.

* * *

**No pun intended. THIS TOOK FOREVER I HOPE Y'ALL CAN FORGIVE ME. Please leave a review it will brighten my day. Anyone get anything cool for Christmas? Any suggestions for the story? Cool. See ya.**


End file.
